


this is my stop

by vgaeu



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-29
Updated: 2019-05-10
Packaged: 2020-02-10 00:45:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 19,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18649483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vgaeu/pseuds/vgaeu
Summary: Sooyoung likes being alone on her bus ride home each night but slowly learns to enjoy the company of a blonde passenger.





	1. The Blonde

Sooyoung hated her job. Each night, she sang at The Eve, a rundown bar downtown, and after being flirted with by sloppy, drunk men and being shoved around by her manager, she was always eager to leave as soon as the clock struck 10. She bursted out the back door, her guitar case in one hand and her leather jacket swung over her shoulder by her other hand, heading towards the nearby bus stop. The cars zoomed by and the bright signs lit up the streets. Despite it being a Thursday night, it was still quite busy. Strangely, the bus never was very full but she was grateful for that.

Sitting down on the bench, Sooyoung took out her phone from her jean pocket, unraveling the earphones that were wrapped around it. She popped them into her ears before hitting shuffle on a playlist and looked into the street, waiting for the bus to come. When it arrived, she climbed up the steps and paid with her metrocard before walking towards the back of the bus and sliding into her usual seat behind the back set of doors.

The bus ride home was one of the few moments of quiet and solitude that she had each day. Sooyoung slid down her seat and leaned her head against the back of the seat, crossing her arms and resting her eyes. She pushed the events of her long day out of her mind and let the music fill her head.

Sooyoung felt the bus come to a stop to let on more passengers but after waiting a while, the bus did not take off again. _What was going on?_ She opened her eyes to see a familiar blonde frantically searching through her bag and removed one earbud from her ear to hear what was going on.

“Ma’am, if you can’t pay, you’re going to have to leave.” The driver grumbled impatiently.

“I can’t find my metrocard! Please, just hang on a moment.” She continued rummaging through her bag and the other passengers who began to protest, much to the chagrin of Sooyoung as her peace was slowly being ruined. The bus driver spoke again.

“We are behind schedule, please pay now or get off.” The blonde bit her lip, still desperately searching through her bag, and when Sooyoung saw tears beginning to form in her eyes, she felt a little bad for her.

Sooyoung stood up and walked to the front, pulling a few quarters out of her pockets before dropping them into the money box.

“Here.” The driver sighed and finally put his hand on the gear shift, ready to drive. Sooyoung smiled at the blonde, who stood there still staring at Sooyoung, and started to head back to her seat.

“Thank you!” She heard her say. Once back in her seat, Sooyoung put her earphones back in and looked out the window as the bus started moving. From her peripheral vision, she could see the blonde turn around in her seat in the front to look at Sooyoung from time to time before she finally got off at her stop.

After weeks of staring at the back of the blonde’s head, Sooyoung was glad the blonde was finally looking at her back.


	2. Saving Seats

The next night, Sooyoung sat in her usual spot, her arms crossed and her head resting against the back of the seat, when she saw the blonde enter the bus. She watched as she swiped her metrocard before the two made eye contact. However, the blonde did not settle in her usual seat near the front of the bus and carefully made her way towards her.

“Um, hi...” She said once she stopped in front of Sooyoung. Sooyoung removed her earbud and looked at her, waiting for her to continue speaking. The blonde pulled out two dollar bills from her gray hoodie and held them out to her.

“I just wanted to pay you back… for yesterday.” Sooyoung stared at the bills for a moment and the blonde laughed nervously, trying to straighten them out. “Sorry, they’re kind of ugly but here.”

“Keep it. It’s no big deal.” Sooyoung smiled, waving the money away.

“No, I have to pay you back! It-”

“No, keep it.” The blonde stood there for a moment before pocketing her money and giving Sooyoung a sheepish smile.

“Did you want to sit down?” Sooyoung asked her, motioning to the seat next to her.

“Uh, yeah!” She sat down next to Sooyoung, hugging her backpack. They sat in silence for a while, Sooyoung too tired to really start a conversation and the blonde zoned out, staring at the seat in front of them.

“Cute.” Sooyoung commented after a while, breaking the silence. The blonde looked up, confused.

“Huh?”

Sooyoung motioned to the Nemo keychain on her backpack and she looked at it.

“Ah! My... friend got it for me when I got accepted into college.” Sooyoung smiled at how she moved to clutch the charm.

“So, you’re a fish major.” She deadpanned and the blonde became flustered.

“No! A marine sciences major, we.. study marine life… like fish-”

“I know, I’m just messing with you.” Sooyoung laughed. The blonde relaxed a bit and let out a sigh. Soon, the silence returned and Sooyoung turned to look out the window.

“Excuse me.” The blonde said after a few minutes and Sooyoung turned to see her lean over Sooyoung and reach to pull the signal cord. She was so close that Sooyoung held her breath, scared to impose upon her personal space, but when the blonde moved back, Sooyoung was able to take a breath once again and could smell the fruity lotion that still lingered in the air.

The bus came to a stop and the blonde stood up, putting her arms through the straps of her backpack.

“So, this is my stop...” She said to Sooyoung. “I’ll see you… on Monday?”

“Yes, you will.”

It became a nearly daily routine and, as time went on, the awkwardness slowly faded and the girls became quite comfortable with one another. Sooyoung no longer cared for her alone time but rather looked forward to seeing her. Minus the weekends, Sooyoung knew to expect the blonde to come waddling up those steps and into the seat next to her when the bus arrived at the college.

Sooyoung would remove her earbuds and the blonde would hop into her seat before greeting her with a big smile.

“Hello!”

“Hi, fish girl.” Sooyoung would always tease in response and the blonde would launch into her daily story.

These stories could be about anything from her last classes before her graduation that summer and her final project to her friends and her tutoring gig. And despite it being late, the girl would have so much energy, moving her hands animatedly and making small sound effects to make her story story more engaging. But no matter how mundane the topic, Sooyoung always listened attentively, not really interjecting and merely watched as the girl let her thoughts out for the day. She would watch the way her eyebrows furrowed or her lips puckered when she was trying to remember a detail. She would watch how she pushed her blonde hair behind her ear when she was finishing up a story or how her legs bounced when she was getting impatient.

From the mere fifteen minutes that these girls had together five days a week, Sooyoung learned so much about her.

Soon, she even began to recognize her good days from her bad days, based on how slowly the girl talked and how often she would force herself to grin. Her eyes would not twinkle the way they normally did when she smiled and her laughs would sound hollow.

“You don’t have to be okay.” Sooyoung would tell her, putting her hand on the other girl’s to soothe her.

“Hm.” The blonde would respond and fold her arms onto the seat in the front to rest her head on. Sooyoung would pull the signal cord for her and gently pat her on the back to let her know when the bus arrived at her stop.

The bus ride home slowly became Sooyoung's favorite part of the day, not because of the silence but because of the blonde girl's company.

But, one day, she did not come.

Sooyoung had sat, waiting expectantly for her to amble onto the bus at the stop. But after a few students came onto the bus and found their seats, the doors shut and the bus took off with the blonde nowhere in sight. Disappointed, Sooyoung put her earphones on for the first time in weeks and stared out the window.

Two days passed, then three, and the blonde still did not appear. Sooyoung began to grow mopey, sulking now rather than grinning when she walked into her apartment.

“Okay, what is it?” Her roommate finally asked after days of Sooyoung’s quiet brooding. Sooyoung was curled up on the couch, staring blankly at the television. Haseul walked over and sat on the couch by her feet. “What’s wrong?”

Sooyoung sat up and readjusted herself, pushing Haseul’s legs down so she could rest her head on her lap.

“I haven’t seen her in a few days. I’m worried something might have happened.”

Haseul sighed and began stroking Sooyoung’s hair. Sooyoung had not stopped talking about her new friend every day when she got home, constantly reiterating her stories or complimenting her. Though it was nice to have a break from Sooyoung’s complaints about her job, Haseul could not understand how the girl was so unaware of how she felt. She was in constant denial when Haseul would ask her about it and immediately change the subject.

“Who? The bus girl?” Sooyoung nodded. “Why don’t you just call her?”

“I don’t have her phone number…” Sooyoung admitted. Haseul rolled her eyes. _How could this girl know so much about her but not even have her phone number?_

“You never bothered to ask her?”

“It’s never come up…”

“Okay, well you can look her up in the phone book!” Haseul said, offering a solution. She felt Sooyoung freeze.

“I… don’t know her name either.” 


	3. Where You At

Sooyoung was distressed.

No matter where she went or what she did, her head was constantly filled with thoughts of the blonde girl. She saw her in the water lilies at the farmer’s market and the fish tank at the bar. She was in her lyrics when she sang and in the bruises that Haseul had given her…

“You, WHAT?” Haseul had yelled, tossing Sooyoung off of her lap. “You’ve been talking to this girl for over a month and you don’t know her name??”

Sooyoung landed on the floor and groaned in pain.

“Haseul, be gentle with me. I'm fragile!”

Haseul joined her on the floor, her tiny fists poised.

“You are a fool! A useless gay! What is wrong with you??” She began pummeling Sooyoung with every word she yelled out. Sooyoung kicked her off and Haseul fell on her back, the two lying side by side, panting.

“You are unbelievable. You have the fattest crush on this girl and you can't even tell me her name.”

“I do not!”

Tuesday turned into Friday and then a full week passed since Sooyoung had last seen the blonde girl. To say she was worried was an understatement. Sooyoung found herself constantly rethinking their conversations together, trying to figure out what could have happened.

The last few days that Sooyoung had seen her, the blonde was not in the best mood but she knew that the girl wouldn't shirk her responsibilities. A week would be much too long to for her to miss between her classes and tutoring job. But if she wasn't getting on the bus, then she wasn't going home. Sooyoung was not sure where the blonde could be.

When the bus pulled up to the stop in front of the college, she found herself squeezing her hand so hard that her nails dug into her palm and left indentations. Her leg bounced restlessly as some students climbed onto the bus.

Still, there was no sign of her. Sooyoung couldn't take it anymore. When the driver moved his hand to close the doors, she shot up.

“Wait!” She yelled out, grabbing her guitar case. She quickly stepped out of the bus and paused at the front of the campus as the bus zoomed off from behind her.

It was quiet as one would expect a school to be at 10:30 at night. Some students still walked around, some with their hands full of books and others wielding 6 packs of beer ready to party. It was a Friday night after all.

Sooyoung wandered through the campus, not really sure where to look and slowly regretting her decision to come there as the time passed. _This was a stupid idea. What am I doing here?_ She passed by the library, then the math building, then the english building, and was about to turn back and go home when she saw the science building in front of her.

“Ah!” Sooyoung suddenly remembered the blonde had told her that she worked on her final project in the lab every Friday night. Finally, regaining some hope, Sooyoung headed into the science building and looked at the map next to the elevator. Marine sciences was on the third floor. She stepped into the elevator and hit the number three, her heart beginning to pound harder and harder as the elevator moved up.

On the second buzz, Sooyoung arrived on the third floor. She stepped into the hallway and her right hand clutched the guitar case tightly. It felt like her heart was in her throat. She peeked into the windows on the classroom doors that still had their lights on and was disappointed each time, only finding random students hanging out or a teacher cleaning up.

There was only one door left and upon looking into the window, Sooyoung let out a sigh of relief. There was the back of the blonde head she had grown so familiar with over the past few months. She was sitting on a bench, her back leaning against some cabinets and her eyes fixated on a fish tank.

Sooyoung slowly opened the door and the blonde looked up, her eyes widening in surprise when she met Sooyoung's.

“What are you doing here?”

Sooyoung paused. She had not thought this far ahead. She felt her face growing hot, unsure of what to say.

“I… haven't seen you in a while, so I wanted to check up on you.” Her fingers fiddled with the guitar case's handle.

The blonde smiled, albeit a little sadly.

“That's really sweet of you, but you could've just called.” She said, returning her gaze to the fish tank.

“You never gave me your number.” The blonde froze before laughing softly.

“Oh.” She scooted over a bit and patted the spot beside her, motioning for Sooyoung to join her. She leaned her guitar case against the wall and sat down beside the blonde.

The two sat in silence for a while, watching the fish swim around and the bubbles float to the top of the water before the blonde's head found her way to Sooyoung's shoulder.

Sooyoung felt her heart begin to pound so loudly she wondered if the other girl could feel it. She only let out a sigh.

“Sorry, if I made you worry.” The blonde finally spoke. “I've been staying at a friend's dorm because… I didn't want to be alone in my apartment...” Sooyoung felt the girl's breath hitch and it made her heart pang.

“It's okay, you don't have to explain.” Sooyoung said, wrapping her arm around her shoulder. She leaned her head on top of the other girl's and heard her sniffle, her hands moving to wipe at her eyes.

“I've just been so tired.” Sooyoung squeezed her arm softly and began gently rubbing it, trying to soothe her. Something bad had happened but she clearly was in no state to talk about it.

“Tell me about that fish.” Sooyoung said softly. She felt the blonde shift. “Why is it all alone in such a big tank?”

“That's a blue betta. They have to live alone or else they'll hurt everything around them.”

The two sat there for a while, the blonde resting against Sooyoung while telling her all about the fish and how she was taking care of it. Their other hands eventually found one another on Sooyoung's lap and she gently caressed the blonde's knuckles with her thumb. As she continued to speak, her voice became lighter and lighter and it seemed as though the blonde was able to temporarily forget whatever thoughts had plagued her before.

Suddenly, the lights went out and the room was dark except for the blue light shining from the fish tanks. The blonde squealed and Sooyoung suddenly felt cold as the blonde jumped out of her arms.

“Ah! Have we been that still? Sorry, they're motion sensored!” She said, waving her arms frantically. But, the lights remained off and she sat back down, pouting.

Sooyoung laughed. “Considering how expensive this place is, you'd think their lights would be more responsive."

“Yeah, it's disgusting how expensive it is here!”

Sooyoung smiled and looked over at the blonde and at how her face was illuminated by the blue light. Despite the glaring color, her features were soft. Sooyoung looked at the way her nose curved and at the little scar on her eyebrow and at the angle of her jawline. Her eyes shone in comparison to when Sooyoung first saw her that night and her soft lips were curved into a smile.

“What is it?” The blonde asked, looking at Sooyoung quizzically. Sooyoung snapped out of her daze and met her look with a sheepish smile.

“I… just realized I never got your name.” The blonde's eyes widened and her eyebrows furrowed.

“Oh my god.” She laughed. “We've talked for so long and we've never introduced ourselves. What's your name?”

“Sooyoung, and yours?”

“I'm Jinsoul.” She grinned, extending her hand out. Sooyoung grabbed it with her own and shook it. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't stop smiling.

_Fuck. Haseul was right._


	4. The Eve

After they finally exchanged their names and numbers, Jinsoul and Sooyoung began spending whatever free time they had together.

Some days, Sooyoung would make food for them and wait for Jinsoul to get out of class so that the two could eat lunch together before Sooyoung had to go to work. When Jinsoul "just happened to get out class early'", Sooyoung would find her at the bar, cheering for Sooyoung as she sang. It made her job a little more bearable.

On the weekends that they were free, the two would go to the movies or to the park and just sit around and do nothing at all. Jinsoul would talk for hours and Sooyoung would always listen. She loved listening to the girl's voice and hearing her stories.

But she soon realized that Jinsoul never liked to talk about anything real. Everything was always the surface with her and Sooyoung more so heard about the things that she did rather than the way that she felt.

But Sooyoung had never been so content and she finally admitted to herself that she was falling for the girl. It had become hard to deny how full her heart felt when she was around and how warm she made her feel by merely looking at her.

Haseul was elated when Sooyoung finally told her.

“Me and my big brain!” She had squealed. “When have I been wrong? Never!"

Spending more time with Jinsoul meant spending more money, so Sooyoung picked up another job as a waitress at a ramen restaurant to support her spending. There, she met Jinsoul's friend, Jiwoo, when the pair came in for lunch one afternoon.

“She's even prettier than you described her!” Jiwoo had said excitedly to Jinsoul when she thought Sooyoung was out of earshot. She heard Jinsoul hush Jiwoo and she smiled to herself.

Once they had met, Jinsoul had Sooyoung come get her at Jiwoo's dorm where she was staying instead of at the bus stop. 

When Sooyoung knocked on the door, it flew open and there stood Jiwoo, grinning widely. 

"Sooyoungie!!" She yelled, pulling the taller girl into a hug. Sooyoung was shocked at how friendly she acted despite the two having only met once. "Come in, let's hang out! We can watch cartoons and talk..."

"Jiwoo, no! We're going out." Jinsoul suddenly appeared from the bathroom, smiling sheepishly at Sooyoung. Jiwoo pouted and latched onto Sooyoung's arm, looking at her with wide eyes.

"I don't mind staying in." Sooyoung said smiling and Jiwoo squealed and dragged Sooyoung onto her bed. 

"Fine..." Jinsoul shuffled to the small bed and Sooyoung scooted over so she would have room to sit. The three sat together, leaning against the headboard with Jiwoo in the middle, binging  _We Bare Bears._ As time went on, Jiwoo hunched forward in excitement, pointing out her favorite parts to the other two girls and Sooyoung snuck a hand behind Jiwoo's back to touch Jinsoul's hand. She saw Jinsoul smile as she held her hand back.

Jiwoo was already a character but upon learning that Sooyoung was a singer, she went absolutely feral, insisting that the two sing together and go to karaoke bars together and write songs together and it took all of Jinsoul's strength to pry Jiwoo from Sooyoung. She really liked Sooyoung and would always praise her and force her to hang out with her but Sooyoung didn't mind too much.

"Jiwoo, your girlfriend is going to be upset." Jinsoul would always remind her when Jiwoo would get a little out of hand.

"It's okay, she'll understand! I'd give her permission to act the same way to Sooyoung!"

Haseul laughed when Sooyoung told her about Jiwoo. 

"You're lying! She can't be a real person." She had exclaimed in disbelief.

"Trust me, Haseul. She's real."

One day, upon coming to the dorm, Sooyoung was greeted by a small blonde girl peeking out of the crack of the door instead of Jiwoo. 

"Hi." Sooyoung said to her. "Is Jiwoo or Jinsoul there?" A taller black haired girl appeared above her and the two shared a mutual glance and disappeared back into the room. Sooyoung stood there confused for a while before the door flew all the way open and familiar bright face popped up.

"Sooyoungie!"

She learned that the blonde was Jinsoul's younger sister, Chaewon, and found it strange that Jinsoul had never mentioned anything about having a younger sister. The black haired girl was her best friend, Hyejoo, and the two were inseparable, entangled with one another as they played on Jiwoo's Switch on the floor. Jinsoul was not back yet from her classes so the four of them just hung out together in the room. 

"Jiwoo, I didn't know you were in the babysitter's club." Sooyoung joked. Jiwoo beamed, grabbing the two of them by the neck under her arms. 

"Well, they _are_  my babies and they love me so they can't get enough of me!" She exclaimed. Chaewon gave an awkward smile while Hyejoo growled.

"We are only here because you have Mario Kart." She grumbled, pushing her way out of Jiwoo's arm. Hyejoo showed a general indifference towards Sooyoung, treating her the way she treated the other girls, blurting out her blunt comments and teasing her. Chaewon, on the other hand, was a lot more cautious. 

She gave airy laughs and awkward smiles at Sooyoung when she spoke and seemed to study her when she stared. Unlike Jinsoul, Chaewon did not speak very much but when she did, it was utter nonsense. 

Finally, Jinsoul arrived and gave an odd look when she saw the four girls sprawled across the floor. Chaewon and her made eye contact for a moment and Sooyoung could not read the expressions on their faces.

"Hello." Jinsoul said before joining them on the floor. "What are we doing today?" 

The five of them ended up ordering a pizza before playing games together. After she had destroyed the two at Mario Kart on several occasions, Chaewon and Hyejoo had a newfound respect for Sooyoung, asking for her phone number so that they could invite her to more game nights.

"Finally, a worthy adversary. Why didn't you guys bring her here sooner?" Hyejoo had said, glancing at Jiwoo and Jinsoul who hung their heads in shame. Chaewon laughed and nodded in agreement. The evening soon came to an end when Hyejoo's phone rang.

"Chae, my parents are here to pick us up." She said and the two said their goodbyes before leaving. For a while, these days became more commonplace and Sooyoung learned to enjoy the company of these girls. She ached a bit, feeling the loneliness of being an only child.

It was April and with finals season quickly approaching, Jiwoo spent less and less time at the dorms and more time at the library. Chaewon slowly stopped coming over often as well, and Sooyoung assumed she was hanging around at home with her own friends since the new Animal Crossing had been released. Seeing the empty dorm, Jinsoul decided to return to her own apartment and a new routine began.

“Let's hang out!” Jinsoul would sing into the phone when Sooyoung picked up.

“It's late and you have classes tomorrow.” Sooyoung would say.

“Boo! You're lame.” And Sooyoung would acquiesce, putting her coat on and waiting for Jinsoul at the bus stop. Jinsoul would amble off of the bus with her bright smile and that would be enough for Sooyoung to forget her worries.

The two would set out upon their hedonistic night, ducking in and out of different restaurants and shops, splurging. The night was theirs to do whatever they pleased. PM would soon turn into AM and the two would still be sauntering through the streets arm in arm.

One Tuesday night, Sooyoung finally spoke up.

“Hey, will you be okay for your classes tomorrow? We should get you back home.” Sooyoung asked. Before, Jinsoul would constantly mull over all her coursework and responsibilities, stressing about her academic performance and her impending graduation. But something was different now.

“I'll just skip.” Jinsoul answered nonchalantly. Sooyoung was beginning to worry but didn't try to push it any further.

“Did you want to sleep over then?” Jinsoul nodded excitedly and they ran to the bus stop, hand in hand, barely catching the last bus home.

Jinsoul fell asleep almost immediately, her mouth falling slightly open and her breathing becoming heavy the minute her head hit the pillow. She was wearing Sooyoung's high school hoodie, her two hands barely poking out from the sleeves as they rested on the bed. She shifted a bit into the pillow and a strand of blonde hair fell over her eyelid. Sooyoung reached over and gently tucked it behind her ear, caressing her face before pulling her hand away. She really looked like an angel. Sooyoung pulled the comforter up and over Jinsoul and laid there, listening to her breathing before she drifted to sleep. 

_What did I do to deserve you?_


	5. Hi High

The bliss was quickly sullied when Sooyoung’s manager at the bar moved her to the later shift. Rather than rushing home at 10pm, she was now stumbling out the doors at 2am, exhausted and spent. She missed Jinsoul, the two now having to figure out times to hang out between Jinsoul’s hectic school schedule and Sooyoung’s incessant work schedule. They went from seeing each other nearly everyday to about once a week if they were lucky. Sooyoung now slept in whenever she could, tired from juggling her two jobs, and spent a lot of time just lounging around her house, writing lyrics and taking naps.

It was a day off, so Sooyoung took advantage of it, crawling into bed at the early hour of 9pm. She had just started drifting off to sleep when a jarring ring pulled her back to the land of the living. Groaning, she rolled over and fumbled for her phone.

It was Chaewon. _Why was Jinsoul’s sister calling at this time?_ She swiped the pick up button and put the phone to her ear before letting her head hit the pillow again.

“Hello?” Sooyoung rubbed her eyes.

“Hi, sorry I’m calling kind of late. Is Jinsoul there?”

“No, she’s not. Is something wrong?” Sooyoung sat up, wide awake now.

“She’s not picking up her calls but it’s probably nothing…” Chaewon did not sound too sure of herself.

“Did you want me to go check on her?”

“Can you? Jiwoo is busy picking-”

“Yeah, it’s fine. Just send me her address.”

Sooyoung crawled out of bed and threw on a red sweatshirt and a pair of leggings. She quickly fixed her hair in the mirror and headed over to Haseul’s room and knocked on the door.

“Come in!”

Haseul was sitting crossed legged on the floor in her oversized black hoodie and a pair of basketball shorts, a pencil tucked behind her ear and papers and books strewn everywhere.

“Ah, sorry I have a bio exam tomorrow! Just watch your step!” She pushed her glasses up and returned her attention to highlighting some notes. Sooyoung didn’t bother trying to maneuver through the mess.

“Did you want to take a break?” She asked, still poking her head out from the doorway. Haseul’s eyes narrowed and she looked up at Sooyoung.

“What do you want?” She asked suspiciously.

“Can you take me to Jinsoul’s? I’ll get you coffee.” Haseul looked at the clock.

“At this time? I’m already in my pajamas!” She huffed.

“Please!” Sooyoung pouted. Haseul rolled her eyes and stretched before getting up.

“You are disgusting.” She said, pointing her finger at Sooyoung. She picked up her keys and pushed her out the door before shutting it behind them. “Do that shit again and you’re walking.”

When they pulled up, music was blaring from the apartment complex and there was loud chatter from both inside and outside the apartment. A couple of people stumbled out the door, arms wrapped around each other, laughing raucously. It was not what Sooyoung was expecting.

“Is this the right place?” Sooyoung was hesitant. It didn’t seem like Jinsoul to throw a party, especially without her friends knowing.

“I can't believe you tricked me into taking you here. Party girl Ha Sooyoung!” Haseul smirked, taking a sip of her coffee.

“Haseul-” She hit the unlock button and unbuckled Sooyoung’s seatbelt.

“I'm kidding, go find your girl.” Haseul waved Sooyoung out of the car. Sooyoung walked towards the apartment, unsure of what to expect when Haseul yelled out. “Call me if you need a ride home, okay. Love you!” Sooyoung turned around and gave her a thumbs up and Haseul waited until she stepped into the apartment before speeding off.

Sooyoung had never been to a party before because she figured it wasn’t her scene and when she came into the apartment, her thoughts were confirmed. It was too chaotic. Shitty house music blasted through the halls and people crowded around each other in the too small apartment. She pushed past the sweaty bodies and the drunken stench in the air, looking around for the blonde.

“Jinsoul!” She yelled but it was so loud that she could barely hear herself. It was her first time in the apartment, but she couldn’t even see where she was going as it was crammed with people. She was wandering around aimlessly, when a man bumped into her, spilling some of his drink on her sweater.

“Sorry, sweetheart.” He slurred, sloppily wiping at her shirt with his own. “Let me take care of that.”

“It’s fine.” Sooyoung muttered irritably, pushing his hands away. She was uncomfortable and tired and she could not find Jinsoul anywhere. She just wanted to go back home and get back into her bed. Sooyoung spotted the stairs and quickly ran up them, hoping to get away from the crowd for a moment. It was a little quieter there and she let herself take a breath before taking in her surroundings.

The bathroom door was wide open and two other doors had whiteboards on them. The board on the door closest to the bathroom read, “JUNGEUN’S ROOM” in a bold, red font and the board on the door at the other end of the hall read, “Jinsoul’s Room” in a playful, blue handwriting. Little fish were doodled all over the board and the sight of it made Sooyoung feel at peace for a moment.

She knocked on the door.

“Jinsoul? It’s me.” Not moments later, the door flew open and Jinsoul dove into Sooyoung’s arms, nuzzling against her chest. Surprised from the sudden affection, Sooyoung hesitated before wrapping her arms around Jinsoul’s waist. She reeked of marijuana.

“Are you high?” Jinsoul giggled and moved her two hands up so that they were behind Sooyoung’s neck. She slowly shuffled backwards, pulling Sooyoung into the room and shutting the door behind her, muffling the loud music.

“Jinsoul, what is going on? Are you okay?” Jinsoul frowned at the questions, faltering.

“Hey, I brought you in here so we could have fun. If you’re going to be a buzzkill, maybe you should leave.” Sooyoung was taken aback by her harsh words but she was afraid to leave Jinsoul alone. She was not herself.

“I’ll stay.” Jinsoul’s smile returned.

“That’s what I was hoping you’d say.” She grabbed Sooyoung by the wrist and pulled her onto the bed. “I’m already hi high so you’re going to have to catch up if we’re going to be on the same level.” She picked up her bong and a lighter from the bedside table and held them out to Sooyoung.

“But I don’t smoke.” Jinsoul laughed.

“Come on, just try it. I’ll show you how.”

Sooyoung hesitated for a moment before agreeing and Jinsoul showed her where to put her mouth and how to inhale before lighting the weed in the bowl. Sooyoung breathed in and coughed a bit, looking at Jinsoul to see if she had done it right. She was met with laughter.

“You barely took any! Do it again but take a bigger breath.” Jinsoul lit it again and Sooyoung inhaled as deeply as she could, remembering to take in some cool air after like Jinsoul had instructed. It was not enough. The weed burned her throat and she could feel it in her chest this time. Sooyoung started coughing incessantly, her chest racking with each cough and she was barely able to take breaths in between.

“Jinsoul.” Sooyoung choked out and she was handed a bottle of water. She took small sips and slow breaths between her coughs, waiting for her breathing to even out as she watched as Jinsoul finish off the remaining weed still left in the bowl.

She put the bong back on the bedside table and flopped onto the bed.

“Do you feel anything yet?” Jinsoul asked once Sooyoung had stopped coughing.

“What am I supposed to feel? I'm not sure what I'm supposed to feel.” Jinsoul laughed.

“Why are you repeating yourself?”

“Wait, what did I say?” Sooyoung could feel a grin tugging at the corners of her mouth. She had no idea what was going on. _Oh, that was probably it._ Sooyoung felt a bit hazy and she let her back hit the bed, joining Jinsoul. She let herself forget that there was still a party raging on downstairs and in that moment, it was just the two of them. And Jinsoul's incredibly soft bed.

Sooyoung closed her eyes and felt like she was sinking into the bed. It was so soft that she thought the bed was going to swallow her whole.

“Jinsoul, your bed is so soft.” She said, moving her arms up and down like she was making a snow angel, appreciating the smooth blanket with her fingertips. “Like it's crazy soft. I've never been in such a nice bed. Even your blanket is soft. This is insane.”

Sooyoung opened her eyes and saw that Jinsoul had propped herself up on her elbow so that she could watch Sooyoung speak.

“I'm never going to leave. You're going to have to pry my dead body off of this bed. I'm not kidding.”

Jinsoul smiled brightly and there was a twinkle in her squinty eyes. _Had she always been this beautiful?_

“This is the most I've ever heard you talk at once.” She said, laughing. “And it's complete nonsense.”

Sooyoung opened her mouth to protest but was interrupted by her phone ringing. She sat up and Jinsoul sat up with her, curious to see what was going on. It was Chaewon. She suddenly remembered why she had come.

“Jinsoul, it's your sister.” Sooyoung said, holding the phone out to her. She waved it away dismissively.

“I'll call her back later.”

“You should talk to her, she's worried about you.” Sooyoung tried pushing the phone towards Jinsoul again.

“I said it's fine.” Jinsoul grabbed it and swiped to reject the call before dropping the phone back on the bed.

“Jinsoul-” Sooyoung reached for her phone but Jinsoul grabbed her by the shoulders and shoved her back onto the bed.

“Can you seriously just shut up?”  

Sooyoung looked up at her and saw that the blonde's eyes had grown dark. She hadn't realized how close the two were. Jinsoul was practically on top of her and she could feel her hot breath on her face. Her heart began to pound again and the two stared at one another, both refusing to break eye contact until Jinsoul's eyes flickered from Sooyoung's eyes to her lips and her hand lifted from the bed to caress Sooyoung's cheek.

“Can I kiss you?” Sooyoung nodded eagerly and Jinsoul finally lowered herself to close the gap.

Sooyoung wasn't sure if it was the weed or if it was just Jinsoul but the high that she felt when their lips finally met was indescribable. A burst of warmth radiated throughout her entire body and she floated on the feeling, never wanting to let it go.

Sooyoung no longer felt in control, her hands moving from her sides to the back of Jinsoul's neck, pulling her closer. It was clear that she had wanted this for so long. All the time she had spent imagining the feeling of the blonde's mouth against her own was nothing compared to the real thing.

They quickly settled into a desperate rhythm, Sooyoung sucking on Jinsoul's bottom lip and Jinsoul grabbing her face with a much greater force. Their initial tender touches were now a thing of the past. Then Jinsoul pulled away and Sooyoung whined at the sudden absence of her soft lips as they moved from her own mouth and left a trail of kisses from her jawline to her ear.  

“God, you're so hot.” Jinsoul breathed into her ear. Sooyoung shuddered at the feeling of her hot breath and felt a moan slip from her mouth. Jinsoul smirked and pushed at the side of her head with her palm. She moved her hair from her neck, clearing a space for her to slowly run her fingertips down her neck and her collarbones. Sooyoung grabbed her shoulders at the sensation, squeezing them tightly. She could barely comprehend what was happening, feeling a dazy bliss from her high.

Jinsoul moved her lips to her neck, leaving small kisses and pulling at her skin with her teeth. Her fingers teased at the hem of Sooyoung's sweater but she looked up at the sound of Sooyoung's satisfied hums and the two made eye contact once again.

Sooyoung stared at her flushed cheeks and her parted lips and for once in her life she couldn't stop herself from speaking.

“I love you.”

Jinsoul froze for a moment before removing her hand from Sooyoung's body and sitting up.

“What?”

Sooyoung fell silent unsure if she had just said what she said and Jinsoul shook her head, her eyebrows furrowing.

“Why did you have to say that?” She spoke again, her voice raising. Jinsoul slowly moved away from Sooyoung until she was off the bed. Sooyoung could feel her throat dry up. She sat up and extended a hand to her, motioning for her to return.

“Jinsoul, I-"

“No, this is too much. I can't do this right now.” Jinsoul turned her gaze down, refusing to look at Sooyoung, and left the room, shutting the door behind her.

Sooyoung sat alone, high, and confused on Jinsoul's bed, listening to the music pounding through the house and feeling what she figured to be heartbreak for the first time. Tears rolled silently down her face as she stared numbly at the door that her love had shut.


	6. God's Favorite

After a six hour flight in a cramped airplane and a two hour drive home in Jiwoo's car (gays really should not drive), Jungeun just wanted some peace and quiet. It had been four months since she left to do her study abroad program and though she thoroughly enjoyed it, she had been desperately homesick and in need of time to herself. Aside from the driving that was comparable to Jan de Bont's  _Speed_ (1994), Jungeun was excited in the car ride back, mulling over her plans once she arrived home.

_God, a hot shower, some instant ramen, and knocking out in my own bed sounds like heaven._

What she didn't expect was a full blown rager being thrown at her apartment.

Seeing the seething anger in her girlfriend's eyes, Jiwoo put her hand over Jungeun's clenched fist, trying to soothe her.

“I guess I should find parking then.” She said softly.

Jungeun burst into the apartment, Jiwoo following closely behind, lugging her suitcase.

“What the fuck is going on here?” Her small stature barely filled the doorway, but those who heard her found her to be a menacing presence and stopped what they were doing. Jungeun shoved her way through the crowd, finding the source of the music and shutting it off, leading to some protests and shouts of disappointment.

She didn't waver and only grew angrier.

“All of you have one minute to get the fuck out of my apartment before I'm calling the police.”

It didn't take long for the place to empty out after that and soon enough, the apartment was silent.

Beer cans and food littered the apartment and muddy footprints trailed throughout the halls. The furniture had been moved and she saw hand prints on her white couch. Her nice and clean apartment was in complete disarray. It took every ounce of self control in her body not to scream.

“Where is she?” Jungeun asked Jiwoo through gritted teeth. Jiwoo just looked at her with wide eyes and bit her lip nervously. The two headed up the stairs and Jungeun burst into Jinsoul's room, ready to let her have it.

The second beanboozle of the night was finding some stranger crying on Jinsoul's bed. She lowered her hands, unclenching her fists.

_God, why do you hate me? How could you force me into chaos and not allow me to respond with war?_

Hearing the door open, the black haired girl looked up with a brief excitement before seeing Jungeun and returning her gaze to her hands in her lap.

“Sooyoung?” Jiwoo headed into the room, followed by Jungeun who moved cautiously, taking in her surroundings. The room was strangely sloppy considering Jinsoul's tendencies to keep things in an immaculate state. It was one of the few things they had in common. Jungeun's eyes wandered to the table and upon seeing the bong, she frowned. Something must have been wrong if she was smoking again. It looked like a lot had happened these past few months she'd been gone.

Jiwoo sat down beside the stranger, rubbing her back and trying to get her to speak.

“What happened? Are you okay?” The girl just stared at her hands, crying silently.

After a few minutes, she finally looked at Jiwoo, her eyes red and pointed at the door.

“Jinsoul…” was all she managed to choke out before her bottom lip started to tremble again and Jiwoo took her into her arms.

“Let's get you home, okay?” Jiwoo said softly to the girl and she nodded, getting up. The two walked to the door and Jiwoo shared a look with Jungeun who just sighed.

“I'll call you after I get her home.” Jiwoo said and Jungeun nodded and watched her girlfriend walk the other girl out of the house.

Jungeun shut the door behind them and closed her eyes, letting her forehead hit the cool wood of the door.

_God, why won't you let me rest?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> now introducing: jungeun! jinsoul's bffl and the angriest girl in the world.. god won't give her one moment of peace


	7. Coming Down

It was getting late now and Haseul checked her phone for what must have been the hundredth time, waiting for Sooyoung to call her. It had been a pretty eventful night. She looked over her notes that had not moved from where she set them on the floor at the start of the evening and sighed. Eventful not productive.

But Haseul learned several new things that night:

  1. Green was the best color to highlight in. It wasn’t as bright as yellow or as harsh as orange. Green was just right and it just happened to be her favorite color, so entire pages were blocked in green highlight because she didn’t know which notes were more important and wanted to be safer than sorry.
  2. She shouldn’t be drinking coffee. Instead of gaining more energy to study, she gained more energy to do everything else. Haseul reorganized her closet by color, then by shirt length, then thickness, then sleeve length. She sorted through and touched each article of clothing, squeezing her eyes shut and trying to find her joy before folding them gently and stacking them in a tall pile on her desk to donate later on. _Marie Kondo would be so proud… Ah! Netflix break, then more studying._
  3. _Coraline_ was a scary movie. She had expected a nice family movie on par with _Wallace and Gromit_ that was something light and fun. She did not expect the button eyes and the scary spider woman. It was a very bad idea, especially as Haseul was home alone, a little anxious from the coffee, and literally scared of everything. By the time the movie started to pick up, Haseul was cowering beneath her blanket and unable to take anymore, she shut her laptop and headed into the kitchen for a snack. That was when she saw it. A tiny door, poking out from the living room curtains. _Oh, fuck no._ She ran into her bedroom when she saw a large shadow towering in the corner of the room and she screamed and hit the lights. It was just her clothes.
  4. The tiny door in the living room actually housed water pipes and there was no one trying to eat her soul. There was no need to really explain that one as Haseul knocked on it several times before opening it and seeing what was really inside. She held her chest in relief.
  5. She was going to fail her exam.



By 11pm, Haseul had accepted her fate and figured she might as well go to bed so she could be fresh and ready for her exam in the morning, but she ended up just lying there and staring at the ceiling, thinking.

 _Where was Sooyoung?_ It was unlike her to stay out so late, let alone go to a party, and she hadn’t bothered to call or check in. Haseul began to grow a little worried. She shook her head, trying to clear her conflicting thoughts. _No, party girl Ha Sooyoung has finally been born, it’s no big deal… But that hag literally tried to sleep at 9 tonight... Maybe she’s just trying new things and having a good time, it’s fine… But what if it’s not…_

Haseul groaned loudly and thrashed in frustration under the covers before throwing them off and putting on her glasses. She went to the living room and wrapped herself in a blanket on the couch, staring at her phone and waiting for Sooyoung to come home. _That bitch had better be okay._

* * *

 

She wasn’t okay.

Whatever feelings of euphoria that Sooyoung had experienced before quickly dissipated the moment the door shut behind Jinsoul. Instead of the nice and floaty haze she had been drifting though, she was just scared. She had never felt so terrible and could not stop crying. It felt like a feral cat was stuck in her chest, trying to claw its way out through her throat and the weight was so heavy she didn’t know what to do.

So, she shut her eyes and pounded her chest with her fist.

“Get out. Get out.” She cried with each hit. It was useless. She put her hands in her lap and stared at them in silence as the tears continued to run down her face. She didn’t want to be high anymore.

Sooyoung was barely present for the next hour, trapped somewhere deep in her head and she only vaguely remembered Jiwoo and another girl coming into the room before Jiwoo brought her into her car. After having Sooyoung enter her address into Jiwoo’s phone, the car ride was spent in relative silence. Jiwoo occasionally made small talk to try to evoke a response out of Sooyoung and looked over at her quite frequently to check on her, but Sooyoung was not present.

When they arrived at her apartment, Jiwoo helped her out of the car and walked her to the door, Sooyoung not having spoken a word since she said Jinsoul’s name back in the room.

* * *

When Haseul finally heard a knock on the door, she jumped up from her seat excitedly. _Sooyoungie’s home!_ Then she remembered she was supposed to be annoyed and exhaled before putting on a frown and opening the door.

The frown became real when she saw her.

Sooyoung was standing there with another girl, her eyes red and her body shaking. Her fingers picked at her knuckles and she couldn’t seem to meet Haseul’s eyes.

Haseul immediately moved to Sooyoung, putting one arm around her back and leading her into the apartment with the other hand around her forearm. She walked her to the couch, sitting her down before returning to the door. Haseul then addressed the girl who had stood with Sooyoung.

“What happened?” She asked in a low voice so that Sooyoung would not overhear.

“I’m not too sure… but she’s having a bad high.” The other girl took out her phone and passed it to Haseul. “Sorry, but can you give me your number? I just want to see if she’s okay later.” Haseul looked at her for a moment, slightly taken aback by her boldness, before adding her contact and giving the phone back.

“Thanks… Haseul.” The girl said, reading the contact. “I’m Jiwoo by the way.” Haseul recognized the name from Sooyoung’s stories. _So she was real._

“Thanks for taking her home, Jiwoo.” She said, turning back to look at Sooyoung. She still sat there, unmoving.

“I have to go now but I’ll check up later.” Jiwoo said. She poked her head into the house. “Bye, Sooyoung!” Sooyoung did not acknowledge her and Jiwoo smiled sadly before waving a goodbye to Haseul.

After the door shut, Haseul turned her attention to Sooyoung who was clearly in no state to talk. She made her a cool glass of water and had her drink it slowly, trying to help her sober up.

“Do you want to shower?” She shook her head.

“Then let’s get you into something more comfy and we can watch something nice, okay?” She said softly to Sooyoung who just nodded. Haseul helped her into her pajamas and the two settled into Sooyoung’s bed, watching _Rilakkuma_. Sooyoung rested her head on Haseul’s chest, sniffling through her stuffy nose, as Haseul stroked her hair.

After few episodes, Sooyoung finally looked up at Haseul.

“Thank you, I feel better now.” She mumbled. Haseul sighed in relief.

“We should sleep.”

“Can you stay with me tonight?” Haseul nodded and turned off the television. Sooyoung adjusted her position and wrapped an arm over Haseul’s waist. As she felt Sooyoung slowly drift off, Haseul reached for her phone to check the time.

2:36am. Alarm set for 4 hours and 9 minutes.

_Fuck, I forgot about my exam._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in this chapter, i just wanted to show more of haseul's character and her friendship with sooyoung before getting back into the nitty gritty of it all! i had originally planned this whole story to only be 5 chapters long but it's still going... kinda crazy. thanks for sticking around this long and i hope you guys have enjoyed it so far!
> 
> edit: hey guys i hated how rushed chapter 4 was so i rewrote it to add some more details! if you read it before may 1st, go back and read it if u want some more context for the upcoming chapters!


	8. Sisters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, last warning to reread chapter 4 if u read it prior to the addition of hyejoo to the story! 
> 
> also, this chapter is a flashback because it starts in january and its events lead up to what is happening now in april

January was a rough month and Chaewon was over at Hyejoo’s house so frequently that Hyejoo’s parents practically adopted her as their own. They understood her house was a rough place to be in at the moment and welcomed her to spend her nights with Hyejoo.

On her rare good days, Chaewon was her regular, goofy self.

“Hey, mom said to go get your laundry.” she would say entering the room and flopping onto Hyejoo’s bed.

“Stop calling her ‘mom’! That’s so weird.”

“Sorry, you’re right… incest…”

“For the last time, we aren’t dating!”

On her bad days, she just stared at her phone.

“Jinsoul hasn’t called me once. I’m worried.”

Though Hyejoo had once respected Jinsoul and enjoyed her company, she now detested her for the way that she made Chaewon feel.  

By February, Chaewon was more or less back to normal and one Thursday night, as Hyejoo was preparing for bed, her phone rang. It was Chaewon.

“Hey, let’s go to the arcade!” She looked at the clock to see that it was 7pm. They had school the next day but Hyejoo would never pass up an opportunity to go play games.

“Okay, where do you want to meet?”

“I’m already outside.” She looked out the window to see Chaewon grinning on her bike. She waved at her to go to the side of the garage as to not be seen and Chaewon disappeared from view. Hyejoo hung up the phone and looked in the mirror, putting on a distressed face. _No, that’s too much._ She relaxed a face a little bit, looking at her furrowed brows and panicked eyes. _Perfect._

“Mom! Dad!” She said, bursting into the living room. Her parents looked at her with concern upon meeting her face. “Chaewon is having a really hard time so I have to go help her!”

“Do you want us to take you?” Hyejoo shook her head.

“I’ll just take my bike!”

“Okay, be careful and tell her she can come stay here tonight if she needs!” Her mom yelled out before the door shut.

Hyejoo could barely contain her giggles when she saw Chaewon waiting for her.

"I see the queen of deception was successful again." Chaewon smirked.

“What’s in the bag?” Hyejoo asked, pointing to the bag on the handlebars of Chaewon’s bike.

“It’s nothing, let’s go!”

They biked quickly down the sidewalk, racing but also enjoying themselves, taking in the cool night air that whooshed past their faces. Soon enough, they were downtown and nearing the arcade when Chaewon suddenly veered right.

“Chae, you’re going the wrong way!” Hyejoo yelled over the traffic but Chaewon kept going.

“I know! I just want to make a quick stop first.” Confused, Hyejoo turned her bike around and followed her. _Oh, god what was she up to now?_

When they ended up in front of the familiar college, Hyejoo understood. _And you call me_ _the_ _queen of deception..._ They locked their bikes onto a rack and the two made their way into the science building, Chaewon clutching onto the bag with both hands with Hyejoo trailing behind. Soon enough, their faces were squished together, staring through the window on the door of a classroom. Jinsoul was reading in the middle of the room alone, her notes and belongings spread across the table.

“So, you brought me here because you didn’t want to stare at your sister alone? Or…” Hyejoo crossed her arms and turned to look at Chaewon.

“I brought her dinner!” Chaewon said, holding up the bag.

“So, are you going to give it to her?” Chaewon faltered and shuffled her feet.

“Maybe I’ll just leave it outside the door…”

“What if someone steals it or she doesn’t know it’s for her? Just knock on the door and give it to her!” Chaewon nodded and puffed up her chest, trying to find the courage to open the door, but her whole body froze before she touched the door knob.

“Hello?” Hyejoo asked as she grew impatient. “Chae, if you don’t go in right now, I’m going to scream.”

“Wait, I’m just getting ready.”

“You’ve _been_ getting ready for ten minutes now.” Chaewon turned to Hyejoo with a huff.

“Can you just relax and let me do my thing?”

“... You are literally doing nothing.”

“Well, now I’m about to hit you.”

“You think I’m scared? Do it.”

Chaewon swung her fist but before it could make contact with Hyejoo, Hyejoo grabbed her by the wrist and poked her stomach with her other hand. Chaewon yelled and the two froze, realizing how loud she was.

Like a bad sitcom, they turned their heads slowly and saw Jinsoul staring right at Chaewon with wide eyes before getting up. Luckily, she didn’t seem to notice Hyejoo and Hyejoo scanned her surroundings, spotting a door straight ahead that had a doorstop in the crack, propping it slightly open. She looked back at Chaewon whose shaking eyes screamed, _"_ _don’t you dare"_. And with that, Hyejoo flashed her her sweetest smile and dipped right as Jinsoul opened the door.

She was incredibly fortunate for that because this door led into the same classroom. _Thank god, I didn’t go in any sooner._

She heard the two talking outside and looked around, a little irritated that Chaewon had come all this way to give her sister dinner, the same sister that she had spent nights crying and venting about to Hyejoo. She looked around at Jinsoul’s stuff and spotted a blue wallet on the table. Hyejoo’s fingers itched. _I mean the least she could do is pay Chae back for the dinner._ Hyejoo opened the wallet and stifled a laugh upon finding a single dollar bill. _Damn, this bitch is poor… Can’t relate._

She flipped through the wallet, seeing if there was anything else worth taking, ignoring the credit cards and her ID card, figuring that Jinsoul would really cry if those went missing. Then something caught Hyejoo’s attention. A bus card. _Ah, this is perfect._ She quickly pocketed it and moved towards the door, slipping out just as Jinsoul stepped back in.

Chaewon was still holding the bag when they left the campus and Hyejoo assumed that Jinsoul had rejected it.

“What a waste of time! We shouldn’t have come.” Chaewon muttered angrily, unlocking her bike. Hyejoo looked at her, reaching into her pocket.

“Well, I mean I did get this.” Hyejoo showed her the metrocard. Chaewon stared at it for a moment before grabbing it out of her hand and looking at it in awe.

“Now you’re stealing from my sister, too? I really can’t take you anywhere, can I?” Hyejoo just laughed.

“Just watch,” Chaewon continued, putting on her helmet and smirking playfully at Hyejoo. “If you keep stealing things so carelessly, you might just steal my heart too.” That earned her a punch in the shoulder, nearly knocking her off her bike.

A few weeks later, the two were in Hyejoo’s bathroom. Chaewon sat on the lid of the toilet, swimming in one of Hyejoo’s old, oversized shirts. She clipped her hair up as she waited for Hyejoo to finish mixing the bleach in the bowl.

“Okay, Chae. Are you sure about this? This is your last chance.” she said once she had finished.

“Yeah, just do it.”

“Okay then…” Hyejoo began brushing the concoction onto Chaewon’s hair, unclipping each section as she finished with it. The two were relatively quiet, the only sound in the room being the sappy pop music coming from Hyejoo’s phone speakers and the brush going through Chaewon’s hair.

Hyejoo was completely focused at the task at hand, frowning a little as she carefully covered each section of black hair but when the music switched to a peppy song, Chaewon’s low humming snapped Hyejoo out of it.

“Why did you want to change your hair so suddenly?” She asked Chaewon as she brushed the last section of her hair.

“Mm, just bored with black.” Hyejoo didn’t believe her. She decided to be a little serious for once.

“You know, if you’re worried about your sister, just talk to her. You don’t have to keep going out of your way doing crazy things just to get her to notice you.” Chaewon sighed.

“I know but how am I supposed to say anything if she can’t even look at me.” Hyejoo was at a loss for words, so she put the brush into the sink and removed her gloves before setting a timer.

“Things will work out somehow.” She said softly once she was able to come face to face with Chaewon again.

A few days later, Chaewon and Hyejoo were playing Tetris on Hyejoo’s bed when a notification appeared on the top right hand corner.

_1 friend online. Jiwoo is playing Mario Kart._

Chaewon lost her mind.

“She has Mario Kart? Get up. Get UP! We are going NOW.” She screamed, pulling Hyejoo up from the bed. Hyejoo was excited as well and grabbed their Switches before throwing them into a bag and dragging Chaewon downstairs by the wrist.

Luckily, they caught Hyejoo’s parents just as they were heading to work and were able to get a ride with them to the hotel that they owned downtown, a mere ten minutes away from Jiwoo’s dorm. The two ran excitedly all the way there.

When they got to the door, the two took turns banging their fists on it rapidly, before Jiwoo finally appeared, confused. Her confusion grew when she saw Chaewon.

“Chae, your hair-”

“Move, bitch.” The two girls shoved their way past Jiwoo and into her dorm, quickly pairing their own joy cons to Jiwoo’s system. Once she had recovered from the shock of their sudden intrusion, Jiwoo sat down with them on the floor and the three began to play. However, she did not last long because the two younger girls tormented her relentlessly.

“Jiwoo, you suck!”

“You’re awful!”

Just when she thought the teasing stopped, it only became indirect.

“Can you believe she spent sixty whole dollars on a game she doesn’t know how to play?”

“It really is unbelievable. What a waste of money.”

“Guys… it was on sale.” Jiwoo whined and soon enough, Jiwoo’s self esteem hit an all time low and she huffed as she stood up.

“You guys are mean! I’m going to take a shower.” She got her clothes and headed into the bathroom.

The two continued playing for another thirty minutes when there was a knock on the door. They could hear the hair dryer in the bathroom and figured Jiwoo wasn’t ready to come open the door yet so the two fought.

“You’re closer, go open it.” Chaewon nudged at Hyejoo. Hyejoo lifted her leg and kicked Chaewon, launching her towards the door.

“Now you’re closer.”

Chaewon grumbled as she stood up and cracked open the door. She watched as Chaewon stood in the doorway but when she heard someone ask if Jinsoul was there, she got up and stood behind Chaewon, curious as to what was going on.

A tall brunette stood at the door, smiling hesitantly at Chaewon. Chaewon looked up at Hyejoo, the two of them quickly having a conversation with their eyes.

_“Who is she?”_

_“I don’t know? Why did she think Jinsoul was here?”_

Hyejoo went back into the dorm, quickly followed by Chaewon and the two finally noticed the nuances that they had overlooked before when they first barged into Jiwoo’s room. There was a pillow and a blanket on the couch. By the window, there sat a set of science textbooks next to an open duffel bag. _Jiwoo was a music student, there was no reason for her to have those books…_ Chaewon met Hyejoo’s eyes when she drew the same conclusion but before they could say anything, Jiwoo came into the room, seeing her door ajar.

“Is there someone outside?” Chaewon nodded.

“And you guys just left them there?” Jiwoo yelled as she ran to the door.

The two of them sat back on the floor, Hyejoo checking to see if Chaewon was okay with the possibility of seeing Jinsoul later. Chaewon just smiled. They continued their game as Jiwoo brought the tall girl into the room.

“Hey, guys! This is Sooyoung.” She awkwardly waved at the two. “Sooyoung, that’s Chaewon, Jinsoul’s sister, and Hyejoo.” The two looked at her. Sooyoung pointed out Chaewon’s hair.

“So, does blonde run in the family?” She deadpanned.

“No, but stupid does.” Hyejoo responded. Sooyoung laughed. _Finally, someone with a sense of humor._

The four of them hung out for a while and Hyejoo noted that Chaewon wasn’t speaking as much as she had earlier, maybe anxious at the fact that Jinsoul could be coming through the door at any moment. She only opened her mouth to laugh awkwardly and spent most of the afternoon just staring at Sooyoung and making strange sound effects while playing.

It was later in the evening when Jinsoul finally came into the room. She looked surprised upon seeing Hyejoo and Chaewon and like Jiwoo, she became even more surprised at Chaewon’s new hair. The two shared a look before Jinsoul sat down with them. Hyejoo discreetly squeezed Chaewon’s hand.

It wasn’t long before Hyejoo began to wonder if Mario Kart was worth all of this trouble. On one hand, there was the Family Drama™. Jinsoul barely even looked at Chaewon let alone speak to her and when Chaewon would happen to brush past her when she reached for something, Jinsoul would almost flinch. Hyejoo wanted to scream. _She’s your sister! What the hell is wrong with you?_ On the other hand, there was the Gay Drama™. Sooyoung stared at Jinsoul with the biggest love eyes Hyejoo had ever seen and it made her want to throw up. Of course, Jinsoul either didn’t notice at all or just completely ignored it. However, the two were still clingy, Jinsoul talking a lot to Sooyoung and Sooyoung laughing and smiling at everything she had to say, always trying to find an excuse to touch Jinsoul. _Absolutely disgusting._ And then there was Jiwoo who always looked like the chorus of Red Velvet’s “Dumb Dumb” was playing in her head.

That’s when an idea came into her head. When the older girls went to clean up the food, Hyejoo turned to Chaewon.

“Hey, Sooyoung’s kind of nice and she and Jinsoul look close.” She whispered. Chaewon nodded, looking a little sad at the way she had been shut down all evening.

“Let’s get her number. You can check on Jinsoul through her instead and spare yourself from the rejection.” Chaewon considered this.

“That’s not a bad idea… but how do you plan on doing that.” Hyejoo was forced to swallow her pride and let Sooyoung win the next 3 games of Mario Kart by a large margin as a ruse to ask for her number. Sooyoung beamed at Hyejoo's compliments and when she looked away, Hyejoo had a few seconds to compose herself.  _You are the god of games, not her._

As they were leaving, Jinsoul finally spoke a full sentence to Chaewon.

“Bye, get home safe.”

Chaewon was elated and insisted that she and Hyejoo continue coming over for the rest of their spring break, hoping for a breakthrough with her sister.

And there was.

“Hyejoo, Jinsoul called me!” Chaewon screamed into the phone one night.

“Hey! That’s good, what did you guys talk about?” Hyejoo responded, pausing her game.

“So, she asked me what was up and I said nothing really and then she said she liked my hair! Then I said thank you and she said she had to do homework and hung up!” Hyejoo realized she hadn’t needed to pause the game.

“That’s… it?”

“Yeah! It was great! I can’t wait until she calls again.”

When April rolled around, Jiwoo decided it was time to be a good student and so she spent her days at the library in preparation for her finals. Spring break ended for Hyejoo and Chaewon and they went back to school, unable to go to the dorms anyway, the nice game days over as quickly as they had started. Unfortunately, so did Chaewon and Jinsoul’s recovering relationship and soon enough, Jinsoul went radio silent again, sending Chaewon into a panic.

She usually picked up her phone albeit she would respond very minimally, but one night, Chaewon’s ten calls went unanswered.

“Hyejoo, I’m worried. Jinsoul isn’t picking up her phone and Jiwoo went to pick up Jungeun so she can’t check up on her.”

“Call Sooyoung.” Hyejoo answered. Chaewon hung up. Minutes later, the phone rang again. Chaewon was a little calmer now.

“She said she’s going to Jinsoul’s apartment to see what’s up.”

“That’s good!” Chaewon was silent for a moment.

“Hyejoo, I miss her.” Her voice cracked a bit. Hyejoo bit her lip, unsure how to comfort her friend over the phone.

“Don’t worry, Chae. Sooyoung’s going to find her and-”

“No, not Jinsoul.”

_Oh._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry, this chapter was much longer than i had anticipated but i wanted to explain things a bit clearer so that the next few chapters will make more sense.. hang in there, the stories almost over! thanks for all those who have stuck around this long!!!


	9. McDonald's

Jungeun was infuriated. She was completely worn out from her flight, her apartment was a complete disaster, and now Jinsoul was nowhere to be found. She tried going upstairs to get some rest, but never made it past the fifth step, thinking about the carnage that was left in her place. She wasn’t going to be able to sleep knowing the mess was there. Plus, she had to wait for Jiwoo to call her back and update her on the situation.  

Sighing, Jungeun resigned herself to cleaning the apartment, breaking out her pink rubber gloves before opening a trash bag. She walked around the living room, picking up napkins, cans, half burnt cigarettes, and whatever other trash there was, while frowning in disgust. She pushed the furniture back to their proper places, liberally spraying disinfectant everywhere and wiping down all the surfaces before resetting her picture frames and lamps to where they belonged.

She was scrubbing at a stain on the couch when Jiwoo finally called her. Jungeun took off one glove and swiped to answer, tucking the phone between her head and her shoulder.

“Yeah.” Jungeun said.

“So, I took Sooyoung home and she has a roommate to take care of her so that’s good.”

“Uh huh. Does she know where Jinsoul is?” Jungeun continued scrubbing at the stain with one hand, waiting for Jiwoo to answer.

“No… She was pretty out of it.”

“That’s fine, I’ll just go look for her then.”

Jungeun stood up and looked over at the bowl in the hall, taking off her gloves. The cleaning could wait. She picked up the keys and took a coat off the hook by the door.  

“Do you want me to drive you?”

Jungeun headed towards the garage, putting on the coat.

“Nah, Jinsoul’s keys are still here. I’ll just take her car.”

“No, I’ll come pick you up.”

“Just go to bed, Jiwoo. It’s fine.”

“Jung-” Jungeun opened the garage door and flipped the lights on. Her nonchalance was quickly replaced by horror.

“Jiwoo, is that… Jiwoo, what the fuck happened?”

* * *

Growing up, the three of them were inseparable. Switching between being a good sister and an even better friend, Jinsoul was adored by the two younger girls. She was always kind to them, never saying a mean word and always showering them with gifts and affection. She babied the two and they loved her for it.

When Jinsoul was accepted in college with her dream program, the family was elated albeit the happiness faded a bit when she also announced she would be moving out. Her best friend, on the other hand, jumped at the announcement.

“I’ll pack my bags tonight. When is move in day?”

“Jungie, I-”

“I am coming with you whether you like it or not. When is move in day?”

When the day finally came, Chaewon and Yerim came bounding into her room, as she packed away the last of her belongings. The only thing that remained was her bed.

“We come bearing gifts!” Yerim said eagerly, hopping onto the bed with Chaewon quickly joining her, struggling with a huge box before finally just leaving it on the ground.

“You guys didn’t have to!” Jinsoul laughed, coming over to see what her sisters had in store for her. Yerim shoved a small box into Jinsoul’s hand and clapped excitedly.

“Come on, open it already!” Jinsoul smiled as she carefully unwrapped the paper.

It was a Nemo keychain.

“This is cute! Thanks, Yerim.” She pulled her sister into a hug and made a show out of immediately putting it on her key ring.

“Wait! I have to explain it.” The other girls looked at her expectantly.

“So, in Nemo, he gets lost, right? But, in the end, he finds his family and goes home. So, this is your reminder to come back home to see us!” Chaewon put her hand over her mouth, her eyebrows raising.

“Yerim, that was…” Yerim nodded, grinning. “... disgusting.” She pouted, hitting Chaewon.

“Okay, if you think your gift is better, let’s see it.” Chaewon stuck out her tongue and lugged the giant box onto the bed.

Jinsoul was more hesitant to open this one, knowing how strange Chaewon was compared to her younger sister. She half expected the box to be filled with trash but was pleasantly surprised once the wrapping came off.

“Ah, Chae!” She laughed as she saw rows and rows of different types of instant ramen packed tightly in the box.

“I figured you wouldn’t have a lot of time to eat once you start school… so here is… quick food.” Chaewon was never good at being sentimental. Jinsoul wrapped her arms around her and she held her back. Chaewon would never admit it but she loved her older sister’s hugs.

Over the next three years, Jinsoul remained close to the two girls. Due to her heavy workload and job, dinner and hang outs were not always realistic, much to the disappointment of Yerim and Chaewon, so she had to figure out a way to keep in constant touch.

Jinsoul decided to always schedule her classes in the evening so that she could at least take them to school and pick them up everyday. It was enough time for them to catch up Jinsoul with what was going on in their lives. Yerim always had stories about her new friends and her art projects while Chaewon would always be scheming or involved in some type of shenanigan with her best friend Hyejoo.

“Yerim, that’s pretty cool! Show me some of your stuff later.” Jinsoul would say before turning to Chaewon. “Chaewon, stop. Whatever it is you two have planned... If you don’t want to get arrested, stop.” Chaewon laughed at these comments and Jinsoul shared a smile from the rearview mirror.

These car rides were refreshing and Jinsoul was also able to share with her sisters what she had been up to and what they could expect in the future.

“I applied to graduate school!” She announced one day in November. Yerim cheered and Chaewon even offered an applause.

“Good for you. When do you find out if you’ve been rejected?” Jinsoul rolled her eyes at Chaewon.

“Around March.” Jinsoul turned into their driveway, turning around to watch the girls leave the car. Yerim and Chaewon unbuckled their seatbelts and threw on their backpacks as they opened the door.

“Yay! We will plan the party then.” Yerim said enthusiastically, before shutting the door. They waved at Jinsoul as she backed out of the driveway and she headed to class smiling.

When she arrived to her apartment that night, Jungeun jumped from the couch to welcome her.

“Jinsoul!”

“Okay, what happened?” Jinsoul said, curious now at what had made the girl so happy. It was a rare sight.

“Remember that study abroad program I told you about?”

“For the language class, right?” Jinsoul took off her jacket and made her way to the couch, sitting down next to her.

“I got accepted!”

“Hey, that’s great!” Jinsoul hugged her best friend. “When do you leave?”

“Before Christmas, so have the rugrats come around so I can give them their gifts before I leave.”

The weekend that Jungeun left, Jinsoul had her sisters come over for a sleepover. Chaewon stepped cautiously into the house, bags of chips in one hand and a duffel bag in the other, and peered suspiciously into the apartment.

“Is the grinch really gone?”

“You’re mean!” Jinsoul grabbed her by the neck so that Chaewon’s head was under her arm and dragged her into the kitchen so that she could check on the pasta.

“Jinsoul!” Yerim called from the living room and Jinsoul turned to Chaewon.

“Keep an eye on that for me.” She said, gesturing to the pot and she disappeared into the living room to see what Yerim needed. 

“Are these for us?” Yerim asked, holding up a few boxes. They were from Jungeun.

“Yeah, you guys can open them later!” They were interrupted by a scream in the kitchen and Yerim and Jinsoul looked at each other before they ran in.

The pot was on fire. Chaewon waved at it frantically with a table mat and the flames only grew larger. _Jesus Christ, I left her alone for a minute._ Jinsoul ducked into the garage, quickly grabbing the fire extinguisher before running back into the kitchen. After some time, the flames died down and the three of them stood there, staring at the carnage in front of them.

“So… I don’t think I want to eat that anymore.” Chaewon said, looking at the charred contents left in the pot.

“Chae, shut it.”

The two girls went to open their presents as Jinsoul quickly cleaned up the kitchen and deeming the pot unsalvageable, she chucked it in the trash can, praying that Jungeun wouldn’t be too angry when she returned.  

She came into the living room and rolled her eyes at the two girls bickering at one another. Seeing Jinsoul in the doorway, Yerim waved her over.

“Look at the cute socks Jungeun got us!” She held up a pair of purple fuzzy socks before pulling her own off and immediately replacing them with her new socks. “I love them! Take a picture and send them to her right now.” Jinsoul obliged and Jungeun quickly responded.

_“Cute. Send Chae’s.”_

Chaewon, on the other hand, acted deeply disappointed, refusing to take a picture.

“I expected nothing less from the grinch herself. Christmas day and she gives us… socks.” She said dramatically.

“Chae, just put on the damn socks.”

After much grumbling, Jinsoul sent the picture and stood up.

“Okay, so what do you guys want to eat?”

The answer was unanimous.

“McDonald’s!” The two younger girls said in unison. They put on their coats and hopped into the car.

Jinsoul could only remember flashes of what happened next.

Chaewon calling shotgun. Yerim taking off her seatbelt to fight with her for the aux cord. Jinsoul yelling at the two to settle down. Then the yellow truck that came barreling through the four way stop.

Jinsoul opened her eyes to a flashlight shining directly into her face. She looked around dazed, trying to figure out what was going on. Her steering wheel was completely busted and the airbag protruded from it. The windshield was smashed and there was glass and smoke everywhere. _What happened?_

“She’s conscious!” Jinsoul felt herself being pulled out of the car. Her head throbbed and she moved her hand to touch her head only to feel something wet. It was blood. _What?_

Jinsoul stared, stunned at the unrecognizable state of her wrecked car while the EMT wiped the blood from her busted eyebrow. But when she heard crying, she immediately snapped back, recognizing the cry.

“Chae?” She called out hysterically. She shoved her way out of the EMT’s arms and towards her sister. Chaewon was wrapped in a blanket and being walked to an ambulance. Jinsoul pulled her into her arms and hugged her tightly.

“Shh, it’s okay.”

“Your head-”

“It’s okay.” She said, holding the girl’s head to her chest. The girl’s entire body shook with her sobs. Jinsoul suddenly remembered her other sister.

“Where is Yerim?” No response. She pulled away from the younger girl.

“Chae, where is Yerim?” The silence was louder than any answer she could’ve given.


	10. The Aftermath

Chaewon first became worried when Jinsoul didn’t cry at the funeral. She just stood there, staring at Yerim’s body being lowered into the grave and turned to Chaewon before biting her lip. She wanted to shake her. _Hey, do you understand what’s happening right now?_ _That’s our sister, how the fuck are you so nonchalant?_

The worry was soon joined with a whirlpool of other emotions.

Devastation when Jinsoul didn’t stay for very long at the reception, going straight back to her apartment as soon as she saw the opportunity.

Anger when Jinsoul did not check on Chaewon _once_ , leaving her to suffer all alone and struggle with their parents’ grieving and everyone else’s pity.

And regret after she was finally fed up with Jinsoul’s behavior and yelled at her, blaming her for Yerim’s death.

Jinsoul became radio silent after that and Chaewon knew she had made a grave mistake.

* * *

After the accident, Jinsoul had the car towed to her apartment and parked in the garage. She wanted it there as a reminder, believing she needed to suffer for what she had done. Chaewon was right. It was her fault.

But for some strange reason, Jinsoul felt nothing at all. It felt like that night hadn’t happened and that Yerim was just at home, playing games with Chaewon. Jinsoul knew one thing for sure though and that was that she would never get behind the wheel of a car again.

Nemo was taken off of her keychain and put on her backpack, the car keys dropped into the bowl in the hall, never to be picked up again.

Jiwoo came to check up on her when she heard the news, treading cautiously around Jinsoul before realizing that there was no real need to.

“Chaewon told me what happened. I wanted to see if you were okay.” Jiwoo said when she came into the apartment. Jinsoul was not surprised to hear that. Jiwoo had always been closer to her younger sisters than she was with Jinsoul.

“I’m fine.”

“Does Jungeun know?” Jinsoul shook her head. Her friend had worked too hard to get that study abroad opportunity. She knew that she would rush home if she learned of what had happened and Jinsoul didn’t want to her to end her trip so soon.

“No, I’ll talk to her when she comes back. Please, promise me you won’t say anything.”

Jiwoo nodded and then fidgeted awkwardly, a little uncomfortable at how normal Jinsoul looked, before heading towards the door.

“Well, you look fine but if being alone here is too much you can come stay at my dorm, okay? I have a couch so you can sleep there as long as you need.”

“Thank you.”

The semester started soon after that and with no other ride, Jinsoul familiarized herself with the bus. Her thoughts were quickly occupied with her deadlines and assignments and she had no real time to think about the shitfest from the end of the year before. It was a good distraction. For her final research project, Jinsoul decided to do a study on betta fish and light and spent her Friday nights cleaning the tank and adjusting the bulbs. 

The worst part of everyday was the bus ride home. For some reason, it reminded her of her car rides with her sisters and no matter what music she listened to or what she tried to occupy herself with, the memories were just louder. It was on the bus that Jinsoul started to feel the effects of Yerim’s absence.

Seeing Chaewon hurt Jinsoul, especially now that she understood how Chaewon truly felt after being yelled at by her that one night. The hurt only worsened when Chaewon tried to take care of her. _I don’t deserve this,_ was what Jinsoul thought when Chaewon appeared at her school, a hot meal in hand. _You should be the one taking care of her but you hurt her and she’s still looking out for you._ _You’re shit._

“I can’t accept this.” Jinsoul said, giving the dinner back to Chaewon. “You should eat it, it looks good.” Chaewon stared at her with an unreadable expression.

“Fine, I’m sorry for bothering you.” The opposite was true. Jinsoul had missed her so much and just wanted to pull her sister into a hug. Her chest felt so empty.

The events of that evening still fresh in her mind, Jinsoul entered the bus, preparing herself for the ride home but her metrocard was nowhere to be found.

“I can’t find my metrocard! Please, just hang on a moment.” She begged, desperately rifling through her bag. Nemo flopped around as the bag shook with her movements.

She was about to be removed from the bus when a tall brunette girl swooped in to rescue her. She dropped a few coins into the box and Jinsoul stood there, stunned at her appearance. She barely managed to choke out a thank you before the other girl returned to her seat.

Jinsoul couldn’t believe what had happened and for the first time, her thoughts were occupied with who this stranger was the whole bus ride home, her mind void of the hate-filled thoughts that usually plagued her.

Not wanting to owe her anything, Jinsoul tried to pay her back but the stranger refused, instead offering the seat next to her for Jinsoul. She became even more perplexed, unsure of what to make of this situation. When she acknowledged Nemo, Jinsoul’s heart stopped for a moment but then she quickly realized something. This stranger knew nothing about her. She was so far removed from the life that Jinsoul was currently living and Jinsoul realized that she would be a good break from her overwhelming schoolwork and her grieving family. She was tired of being treated like glass and people only talking to her because of Yerim.

God only knew how much Jinsoul just wanted to take a break from her reality.

“I’ll see you… on Monday?”

“Yes, you will.”

So, the two talked everyday. Or Jinsoul talked. She felt a weight lift off her shoulder when she saw the girl and just spilled everything that was on her mind. Everything but what really mattered. The girl seemed to enjoy Jinsoul’s stories nonetheless and Jinsoul enjoyed forgetting.

It was March when she received the email from the graduate school she had applied to. Jinsoul had been sitting in the kitchen, working on a paper when the notification popped up at the bottom of the screen. She held her chest, her heart beating in anticipation, and bit her bottom lip as she clicked on it.

 _“We regret to inform you that your application has been rejected…”_ Jinsoul didn’t make it in. She felt her eyes begin to sting. _Now what? What the hell am I supposed to do?_ Her eyes wandered to the stubborn scorch mark that remained on the stovetop counter no matter how hard Jinsoul had scrubbed. _I guess there won’t be a party…_ She suddenly remembered the car sitting in the garage. _But there was never really going to be one..._ Her chest ached and she felt herself start to spiral. She couldn’t stay in this place any longer.

“Jiwoo, is it too late to take you up on your offer?”

Upon seeing Jinsoul, Jiwoo immediately saw that something was wrong but she knew that if she pushed, she wouldn’t talk, so she kept her distance. Jinsoul would cry at night, burying her face into her pillow and sobbing when she thought Jiwoo had fallen asleep. And each night, Jiwoo’s hands would drift over her keyboard wanting so desperately to let Jungeun know what was going on with her best friend, but the guilt of breaking her promise with Jinsoul always stopped her and she would turn off her phone in defeat.

One Friday, Jinsoul had just finished cleaning the fish tank and was taking a break when girl from the bus appeared. Jinsoul had forgotten all about her while she had worried about Jinsoul. _You really are shit._ But her presence was so comforting that Jinsoul couldn’t help herself. She couldn’t remember the last time she had been touched and lost herself in the warmth of the other girl’s arms when she allowed her to hold her.

They hung out more often after that and Jinsoul started to let herself go. She slowly put less effort into her schoolwork because it didn’t really matter. She hadn’t gotten into graduate school so she just needed to graduate. Her circumstances were much too suffocating and Jinsoul prefered gallivanting around with Sooyoung, chasing the constant distraction that this girl provided her like it was a high.

So, she didn’t know how to feel when she came back to Jiwoo’s dorm one day to see Sooyoung chatting with Chaewon like an old friend. Seeing Chaewon was difficult for Jinsoul but she missed her and finally tried to call her one night. It went awfully and Jinsoul struggled at the fact that she may have forever ruined her relationship with her sister. It didn’t help that Chaewon only grew fonder of Sooyoung over time. Sooyoung was supposed to be detached from the shit in her life not getting closer.

Fearing this would worsen, Jinsoul went back to her apartment in hopes of resetting their boundaries. All the bad things would stay where the bad things were and Sooyoung would stay far away from it. Jinsoul grappled with the emptiness of her apartment but believed that it would be worth it.

The nights were hard so she spent them with Sooyoung, roaming around town and doing everything but what she was supposed to. Her assignments were set aside and her dishes were left unwashed. But she felt pure bliss, the mere thought of returning to reality causing her to go into a panic.

But soon enough, Sooyoung disappeared too and Jinsoul was left alone to think about her quiet apartment and her piling laundry and dirty dishes and late assignments and the car in the garage… Jungeun was in another country, Jiwoo was studying, and Sooyoung was working. Jinsoul felt completely and utterly alone and brooded in her apartment for a few days, avoiding everything. Then she remembered. _Fuck, my final project!_

She ran to the school, not bothering to change her clothes or wait for the bus. _Please be okay. Please be okay._ When the science building came into sight, Jinsoul started to sprint, her sides hurt unbearably and her legs were so sore but she pushed the thoughts of the pain out of her head, focusing on her one goal. When she entered the lab, the blue fish was floating at the top of the tank, its fins drifting with the gentle current of the water.

She stared at it blankly for a moment, refusing to accept it.

“Hey, you’re okay. It’s going to be okay.” She said softly, filling a plastic bag with water from the tank and tenderly adding the fish.

She set it on the counter before looking up the nearest animal hospital and heading there, the bag in hand.

“Is this a joke?” The vet asked her, looking at the fish in the bag that she held out to him. “I really don’t have the time for this.” She was ushered out and stood on the sidewalk frozen for a few minutes. Jinsoul numbly headed home and went to the planters in front of her apartment complex, pulling out all the daisies and tossing them on the ground. She dug into the dirt with her hands, scooping out a small hole before draining the bag the fish was in. She gently laid the fish in the hole and covered it with the dirt.

When she was greeted by the familiar silence of her apartment, the weight of the world came crashing down on her and Jinsoul finally snapped.

She screamed and collapsed into the couch, sobbing uncontrollably. It was all too much and she couldn't take it anymore.

The next few hours were hazy. Between the screaming and the crying and the pacing, Jinsoul remembered posting a status on her school's page, inviting everyone over for a party.

The apartment was far too quiet and she needed something good to drown out her head. She then remembered regretting throwing a party because the sheer amount of people around overwhelmed her. Jinsoul quickly retreated up the stairs but not before buying a gram off of some stoner who spent the party camped out at the foot of the stairs, open for business.

Once she finally shut her door, she dug her bong out from the back of her closet, paying no heed to the clothes and trinkets that now littered the floor. She quickly broke apart the weed, packing the bowl before taking a few deep breaths and collapsing onto the bed. She felt absolute euphoria and there was only one thing that could make it even better.

She had just packed another bowl when there was a knock on the door and she heard the soft voice that she had been craving to hear for days. She threw herself into Sooyoung's arms, feeling the smooth fabric of her sweater against her cheek and taking in the intoxicating smell of her body wash. The things that Jinsoul wanted to do to her.

But Sooyoung would not shut up and each time she spoke, Jinsoul could feel her high being interrupted. She wouldn't have it. Just the thought of returning to the state she was previously in was terrifying to her and she didn't even want to think about it. _I deserve a break, don't I?_

It didn't take very much convincing to get Sooyoung to catch up with Jinsoul and soon, the two were lying side by side, Sooyoung seriously appreciating her bed. Jinsoul giggled a little as she watched her babble on and on. The nice moment was quickly interrupted by Chaewon. _Why was Sooyoung talking to Chae?_

Then she was back at it again with the demands. Jinsoul was tired of listening and tired of talking. Now, she just wanted Sooyoung. She grabbed at her hungrily, craving for a taste of every bit of her skin and she shivered upon hearing how much Sooyoung wanted her too.

Just as they were about to get somewhere, Sooyoung said the worst thing she possibly could have.

“I love you.”

The black hole in Jinsoul's chest bared itself again. That was too real and Jinsoul didn't want real. Sooyoung was supposed to be a distraction from what was real and with her confession she quickly just became another weight on Jinsoul's chest along with all the other shit.

“No, this is too much. I can't do this right now.” And Jinsoul ran.


	11. Finding Jinsoul

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! it's may 10th and i just made some small additions to this chapter,, it was originally a bit rushed bc i wanted to finish this fic before finals so i wouldn't think about it .. anyway enjoy!!!!!

Jiwoo finally told her everything and Jungeun knew she shouldn't have been so angry but it was difficult not to be. Her best friend had been suffering alone for months, a girl that she pretty much saw as her own sister was gone now, and her girlfriend had been forced to keep all of this from Jungeun because of some stupid promise. Jungeun had been essentially left in the dark for months and now that she was back, the responsibility fell on her to make everything better. She could barely process what had happened to begin with.

“Jiwoo, just come stay here for tonight. I'll take your car to find her.”

Then Jungeun did what no one else thought to do. She called Jinsoul.

The phone only rang twice before she picked up. It was loud, the ringing and yelling drowning out Jinsoul's voice but Jungeun didn't need her to say a word.

“Stay right where you are.”

Jungeun found Jinsoul in the prize room of the arcade, staring at a shelf of keychains. Her eyes lit up and she laughed when she saw Jungeun, waving her over.

“Jungie, look! I found out where Yerim got Nemo!” She pointed to the keychain on the shelf. Jungeun was at a loss for words. _What the hell was going on?_

“Okay, but get this.” She continued, now pointing at a picture on the wall. The word “THIEF” was printed in bold on the border and there was a security footage screenshot of a familiar girl shoving a handful of keychains into her coat. “I think Hyejoo stole it for her! Can you believe Yerim would get involved in something like that? I mean I wouldn't be surprised with Chae but-”

“Jinsoul, let's just go home.” Jungeun put her hand on her arm and Jinsoul laughed, shaking her off.

“No, you just got here. Let's play some games! I have my card so we have enough credit to curb us over for the next few hours! Do you remember when-” Jungeun grabbed Jinsoul's arm more firmly this time.

“Jinsoul, we're going home.” Her smile faltered and Jinsoul backed away from Jungeun.

"I don't want to."

She clenched her teeth in annoyance when Jinsoul yanked her arm away as she walked out of the room. Jungeun had to jog to keep up. When Jinsoul neared the car, Jungeun was relieved, thinking that she had a change of heart.  _Finally, we could sort out this whole mess._

But Jinsoul just kept walking. “Hey, the car is over here!” Jungeun yelled out after her but she was ignored.

“Are you seriously making me chase after you?”

She just kept walking.

“Jinsoul!”

They turned the corner of the street now, moving further and further away from the car.

“Can you stop being so fucking difficult?” And Jinsoul froze, giving Jungeun enough time to finally catch up with her and see the strange look in her face.

“Fine.”

They sat in the car in silence for a while, Jungeun grateful that she finally found Jinsoul and that she could finally go home and rest. She had never been so exhausted.

But Jinsoul seemed restless, fidgeting with her hands and tapping her feet. Despite not wanting to speak, Jungeun tried to catch up with her friend a little. She would start small before working her way up to the real conversation.

“How's school?” Jinsoul didn't look up.

“It's fine.” And that was it.

Jungeun stared at the road for a while, searching for something else to talk about. She never struggled when talking to her best friend but Jinsoul was just making it so grueling.

“So, who's Sooyoung?” She asked, glancing over at Jinsoul. “Your girlfriend?”

“I don't want to talk about it.” Shut down once again, Jungeun couldn't help but to grow irritable.

“It looks like you don't want to talk about a lot of things.” Jinsoul finally looked up.

“What's that supposed to mean?” Jungeun cut straight to the point.

“I found the car, Jinsoul.” Jinsoul's breath hitched. “Why didn't you tell me?”

“I didn't want to bother you.”

“Bother me?” Jungeun nearly spat. _Jinsoul, you fucking idiot._ “You're my best friend. I can't believe I had to find out from Jiwoo-” She stopped. That was a mistake. Jinsoul pursed her lips, her expression shifting to one of anger.

“I guess you can't trust Jiwoo to keep a promise.” She muttered, looking out the window. Jungeun grew livid at her response, her ears turning hot.

“Don't you dare turn this on her. She let you stay in her place and took care of you and you forced her to keep some stupid promise-”

“That she broke anyway. And I didn't know where else to go. You left and-” Jungeun's hands gripped the steering wheel tighter, her knuckles turning white. She unconsciously stepped harder onto the gas pedal.

“Okay, that's not fair. How was I supposed to know what was going on? You didn't tell me shit-” The car revved and Jinsoul grabbed the sides of her seat with both hands, her face turning pale.

“Jungeun-”

“No, you listen to me. You put yourself through hell without thinking about the others who care about you.” She thought about Jiwoo crying during her story and the girl Jinsoul had left speechless in her room. “Did you even stop to consider that? You think that's fair?-”

“Jung-” Her hands gripped the seat tighter as the engine grew louder.

“It's not! You have to get your shit together, Jinsoul.” Jungeun turned to look at Jinsoul as she yelled. “We're here to help you but you keep pushing us all away and it fucking hurts-”

“Jungeun!” Jungeun finally saw the car stopped in front of them.

“Fuck!”

She slammed on the brakes, twisting the wheel with one hand and barring Jinsoul against the seat with her other arm. The car screeched, hurtling towards a pole as it spun away.  The seconds crawled at an excruciatingly long rate and Jungeun squeezed her eyes shut, her ears pounding, expecting the worst. 

While Jungeun's head had gone completely blank, Jinsoul felt like she had completely woken for the first time in months. And when Jungeun's foot hit the brakes, Jinsoul just realized that she hadn't breathed since she saw the car. Not the gray car stopped in front of them, but the yellow truck from late December. Her heart was about to pound out of her chest but all she could think about was her.

Chaewon.

Chaewon was going to be all alone. She was going to go to another sister's funeral, this time, alone.

And then Jinsoul was slapped with a sudden realization.  _She had been alone this entire time._

She made the mistake of looking out the window to see that her side of the car was quickly approaching the pole and a panic gripped her chest. Not knowing what else to do, Jinsoul just shut her eyes.

Then the screeching subsided and there was silence. 

The car had finally stopped and the smell of burning rubber wafted from the tires. They hadn't hit the pole. They were okay. Jungeun slowly opened her eyes and saw Jinsoul staring straight ahead, her face frozen in pure panic.

“Jinsoul, I'm so sorry.” She didn't respond.

Jungeun's arm was still blocking Jinsoul so she started to move it when Jinsoul just grabbed her hand with both hands and pressed it against her chest. Jinsoul's heart was beating incredibly fast and she was shaking.

“Hey, you're okay.” Jungeun leaned closer to Jinsoul, pushing her head onto her chest with her other hand. "I love you so much, okay? We're going to be okay." She kissed the top of the girl's head and held her tightly, letting her tears roll silently down her face. Jungeun couldn't believe how close they had gotten, how lucky they were.

And for the first time since everything happened, Jinsoul finally let herself cry in front of someone else, her sobs breaking the deafening silence of the night.

Her body shook against Jungeun, who only pulled her even closer and the two girls sat in the haphazardly parked vehicle, crying into one another. 

After a while, Jinsoul lifted her head from Jungeun's chest and sniffed.

"Jungeun?" 

"Hm?" 

"I think I'm ready to go home." 


	12. This Is My Stop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edit: hellO, it's may 10th and guess who went back and made changes?? again, this was way too rushed for my liking and the ending just.. wasn't sitting right with me considering all that had happened throughout the previous chapters so I fixed it..  
> also i wanted a little bit of domestic chuulip so i fixed that up too hehe,,,,  
> OK! I've said enough,, enjoy!!!

Haseul didn’t do too poorly on her final exam considering she had come in barely conscious and was hushed on several occasions because she was crying too loudly. She was sitting in her car, ready to go home and burn her books when she received a text.

_“Hey, this is Jiwoo!! :)”_

Haseul started to type but saw the three bubbles pop up and deleted her message.

_“From last night! :)”_

Haseul started to type again and the bubbles popped up once more so she deleted her message, waiting.

_“I just wanted to see how Sooyoung was… :)”_

Her fingers hovered over the keyboard. Bubbles again.

_“Also, let her know we found Jinsoul!! :)”_

Finally, they stopped and Haseul started writing her message for the last time when they appeared once more. Haseul wanted to scream. She hit the backspace button and waited. And waited. The bubbles disappeared. _Is it safe now?_ But she had only started typing when they appeared again.

_“...If she seems OK to talk about it!! :)”_

Haseul’s eye twitched at the fifth smiley face, genuinely disturbed, and decided to just drive home before responding in case Jiwoo had more to say.

When she arrived home, she saw Sooyoung sitting in the kitchen, fully dressed and eating cereal.

“Ah, you’re still going to work?” Haseul asked, kicking off her shoes. Sooyoung nodded.

“Yeah, I’m tired but didn’t want to mope around at home.”

“That’s valid. I'm going to get some groceries for dinner later, so let me know what you want.” Sooyoung flashed her a thumbs up and she started heading towards her room before remembering the demon who had been texting her. “Oh, and Jiwoo wanted to know how you are!”

Sooyoung looked up.

“Oh, okay. I’ll call her.” Haseul flopped onto her bed and stared at Jiwoo's texts before finally retaliating the best way she knew how.

_“Hey :) Jiwoo, :) Sooyoung :) said :) she’s :) fine! :) She’ll :) call :) you! :)”_

Jiwoo texted back immediately.

_“What’s with all the smiley faces?”_

* * *

 

Not knowing how to help her friend through the phone, Hyejoo biked over to Chaewon’s house and the two ended up spending the night just distracting themselves by playing games. They slept until the afternoon, the two girls curled up next to one another. The warm sun streamed into the room through the small gap between the curtains and Hyejoo woke up, feeling uncomfortable.

“Chae, get off, it’s hot.” She grumbled, pushing the smaller girl off of her arm. Chaewon mumbled something incomprehensible, rolling to the other side of the bed, and Hyejoo got up to go to the bathroom. It didn’t look like her friend was ready to get up yet.

She was brushing her teeth when she heard the doorbell ring and listened, waiting for someone to open the door. When there was no sound, she realized that Chaewon’s parents were probably at work.

Hyejoo rinsed her mouth and headed downstairs to open the door, surprised by who was there.

“Jinsoul?” The older girl was standing on the porch, waiting.

“Hey, Hyejoo. Is Chae there?”

Hyejoo moved aside to let Jinsoul in, a bit puzzled as to what was going on.

“She’s sleeping upstairs.” Hyejoo said as she shut the door. Jinsoul looked up the stairs and then at Hyejoo.

“Can I?”

“She’s your sister, why are you asking me?” Jinsoul gave an awkward smile and started up the stairs when Hyejoo spoke again. “She’s been waiting for you, so don’t fuck it up.”

“I know.” Jinsoul said, a bit taken aback by the girl’s bluntness. “Thanks, Hyejoo.”

* * *

 

Chaewon woke up to an empty bed, feeling betrayed at the loss of the other girl’s embrace. _I can’t believe she left me like a one night stand. Friendship ended with Hyejoo._ Then she heard footsteps heading towards her room and quickly felt relieved. _Forget what I said. Friendship reinstated with Hyejoo._

“Hyejoo?” Chaewon called out. It wasn’t.

“Hey, Chae.” Jinsoul said, poking her head through the door. “Can I come in?” Chaewon nodded in disbelief and her sister made her way towards her. She sat at the other end of the bed.

“How are you?” Jinsoul asked. As excited as she was that her sister was there, Chaewon became a little annoyed.

“Why didn’t you pick up my calls?” Jinsoul froze.

“I’m sorry, Chae.”  _That's it? Just sorry?_

“Where have you been?” Chaewon decided she was tired of poking around. Jinsoul was here now and she wanted answers before she disappeared again.

“Sorry, Chae. It was a hard night.” Jinsoul decided to avoid looking at her again and Chaewon was hurt.  _Stop saying sorry._

“Yeah, and it’s been hard for me too.” Chaewon fought back tears, her voice cracking. “Where have you been?” It didn’t take long for Jinsoul realized she meant more than just last night and she couldn’t bear to see her sister so sad.

“Hey, don’t cry.” Jinsoul moved closer to Chaewon and held her hand. “I’m sorry.” _Is that all you have to say to me?_ At those two words, Chaewon couldn’t hold back her tears anymore and was now openly sobbing.  _Stop apologizing and start explaining!_

“Why did you leave me?” She wanted to hit Jinsoul for making her feel this way again. Through everything, Jinsoul had hurt her the most. Jinsoul only pulled her closer and Chaewon buried her face into her chest. “It was so hard and you weren’t there. I needed you.” Jinsoul placed her hand on the back of her sister’s head and leaned her chin onto it, fighting back her own tears at the realization of what she had done.

“I thought you hated me… because of-” Jinsoul finally managed to say and Chaewon shook her head.

“No, I was just mad. I know it wasn’t your fault. I’m not stupid.” Jinsoul sighed in relief at her sister’s confession and hugged her tighter. She was going to fix things now.

“I’m so sorry for everything, okay? I’m here now and I’m not going anywhere this time.”

“You promise?” Chaewon mumbled into her shirt.

“I promise.” Jinsoul wiped her tears away, laughing softly. “I missed you, Chae.”

"I missed you, too."

The two finally came downstairs after twenty minutes of crying and catching up and more crying to see Hyejoo watching Food Network on the couch. She looked up at the two and put her hands on her tummy.

“Hey, I’m hungry. Are you guys up for some D&D?”

“Dungeons and Dragons?” Jinsoul frowned.

“No, Dining and Dashing!” Chaewon giggled, running to Hyejoo. Jinsoul shouldn’t have been so surprised that the two were still up to their questionable antics.

“No, we are _not_ up for some D&D.” Jinsoul said, firmly. “I have money. I’ll pay.” Hyejoo just laughed at her.

“No, you don’t.” She said confidently and Jinsoul was stunned.

“And how would you know that?” Hyejoo and Chaewon shared a meaningful look with one another before laughing again, leaving Jinsoul absolutely confused.

* * *

 

It was the afternoon when Jungeun and Jiwoo stood outside the garage as they watched a man load Jinsoul’s car onto a tow truck and drive it away.

“I never understood why she had it brought home.” Jiwoo said to her girlfriend as they walked back into the apartment.

“Well, Jinsoul’s always been a bit of a masochist.” Jungeun replied, chuckling quietly. They stepped through the threshold, the place finally clean and normal and back to Jungeun’s liking. She wrapped her arm around her Jiwoo’s waist as they collapsed onto the couch. Jungeun had not slept yet, spending the entire night listening to Jinsoul catch her up with what had happened and comforting her. By the time she had finished, the sun was up and Jiwoo came down the stairs, surprised to see the two laughing with each other as they pulled the last of the trash bags towards the front door. She stood, leaning against the doorway for a while before they noticed her smiling at them.

"Hey, Jiwoo." Jinsoul waved at her.

"Hi, I'm glad you're okay." 

"Yeah, thanks." Jinsoul looked at Jungeun for a moment before brushing her hands on her pants.

"Well, I have to go meet some people now, so I'll take these out to the dumpster." She opened the door and picked up the bags. "And Jiwoo?"

"Yes?" 

"Thank you for everything. I really appreciate you." Jiwoo beamed as the door shut.

And now, finally, after everything, Jungeun and Jiwoo had a moment of peace.

The two watched a few movies, or Jiwoo watched a few movies as Jungeun peacefully nodded off in her arms. But Jiwoo didn't mind. She only brushed her girlfriend's hair out of her eyes and held her closer, having missed the company of the other girl. Soon she was met with quiet snores and Jiwoo muted the television, not wanting to wake her up. She silently watched the movies, glancing down and smiling at Jungeun more often than she would like to admit. 

When her arm began to grow a little numb, Jiwoo tried to shift it slightly as to not disturb Jungeun, but at the movement, she began to stir.

"Hey, I'm sorry. Go back to sleep." Jiwoo said softly, pressing her lips to her forehead. Jungeun just shook her head slowly, her eyes barely held open. 

"No, I want to spend time with you." She mumbled. Jiwoo's chest warmed at the sight of her sleepy girlfriend. 

"Okay."

Jungeun caught Jiwoo up with stories of what happened on her trip and Jiwoo oohed and ahhed a bit enviously at how nice it all sounded. But Jungeun told her she was the happiest here. She had been waiting months for these quiet moments. The evening slowly became night and the two had not left the couch for much more than a trip to the bathroom or the door to get their take out.

Jungeun nuzzled her head into Jiwoo’s neck and she smiled at her girlfriend’s rare show of affection. Jungeun had been strangely clingy that day, not that Jiwoo had anything against it. The two enjoyed the silence and each other for a while before Jungeun looked up again.

“So, I’ve been dying to know…”

“What, Jungie?”

“Who is Sooyoung?” Jiwoo just giggled. “What!”

“Jinsoul’s crush!” Jungeun highly doubted this.

“Yeah, right.”

“Well, she never stops talking about her!” Jiwoo laughed, she turned her neck, resting her chin on Jungeun's forehead. Jungeun just shook her head in disbelief.

Just then, Jiwoo’s phone rang.  _Speak of the devil._

"Ugh, what does she want now?" Jungeun whined as Jiwoo suddenly moved to get her phone, leaving her to sit there alone. She smiled and bounded back quickly, hopping onto the couch and taking Jungeun back into her arms. 

"Let's find out."

Jiwoo put her phone on speaker and put her finger over her lips, motioning for Jungeun to be quiet.

“Jiwoo?”

“Hi, Jinsoul!”

“Do you know where Sooyoung is? Jungeun told me you took her home…”

* * *

 

Sooyoung left work that night more tired than she had ever been. Her head still hurt from all the crying the night before and now she just wanted to shower and have dinner with Haseul before going to bed.

The last person Sooyoung expected to see that night was Jinsoul. But, there she was, sitting at the bus stop bench, fidgeting with her fingers in her lap and staring nervously at the ground. Hearing someone approach, she looked up and watched as Sooyoung sat down beside her.

The two sat in silence for a while before the bus arrived and they climbed on, settling back into their usual seats. When the bus started moving, Jinsoul finally broke their silence.

“I just wanted to say that I’m sorry.” Sooyoung looked at her, watching her search for her words. “I shouldn’t have run off like that.”  

“I didn’t mean to scare you off-”

“No, it’s not you.” Jinsoul sighed. “Sorry, I’ve just been having a hard time and you just got caught up in it.” This seemed more rehearsed.

“I-” Jinsoul waved dismissively before Sooyoung could answer.

“Just let me finish before I lose my courage.” She said, smiling sheepishly. “I’ll explain everything to you one day, I promise. But for now, I just need everything to go back to normal. I really missed you... and I’ve been thinking about what you said...” She trailed off, losing any remnants of the boldness that she had moments before.

“I meant what I said.” She could feel Jinsoul staring at her when she responded but refused to meet her eyes, in fear of what she would say.

“I know... and I'm sorry I left you like that.” Sooyoung just nodded silently, unsure of where the conversation would go. "I'm really glad that I was able to meet you but these past few months have been shit... so I haven't been able to really think about anything like that." 

“Oh..." She felt her heart break a little. 

"I just need to figure things out right now... by myself." Jinsoul continued and Sooyoung could not look at her, fearing that she might cry if she saw her face. She stared at her fingers as they picked at each other on her lap. Then she saw Jinsoul's hand inch closer before resting them on top of her fidgeting hands. 

"But... I do like you." It took a moment for Sooyoung to register what she said before her head shot up. 

"Huh?" Jinsoul just smiled.

"Yeah, but I don't think I'm ready for... anything yet. I don't want to ask so much of you but can you please be patient with me? Just until it's all over?" Jinsoul looked at Sooyoung hesitantly. Sooyoung moved her palm and slowly pushed her fingers between Jinsoul's, interlocking their hands. 

"I'll wait for you." Jinsoul let out a sigh of relief and put her hand over her chest, shutting her eyes. Sooyoung chuckled at the gesture and pulled Jinsoul's hand so that she would come closer. 

"Thank you... for being here." Jinsoul said quietly, letting her head fall onto Sooyoung's shoulder and allowing the other girl's arms to envelop her. She didn't know when she had fallen asleep but she did and soon enough Sooyoung was gently shaking her. 

"Hey, we're here." 

"Where?" Jinsoul mumbled as the bus began to slow. Her eyes slowly opened and she peered around in confusion.

"Your stop." She just squinted at Sooyoung with her sleepy eyes and messy hair and Sooyoung couldn't help but to giggle at how cute she looked. The bus soon came to a stop and the doors swung open, greeting her with a familiar neighborhood. Then it clicked.

“Ah, this is my stop!” Jinsoul said, clambering up from her seat. She lightly squeezed Sooyoung's hand and smiled to her before heading towards the door.

“I’ll see you on Monday?” She said, turning around as she stepped off the bus.

Sooyoung didn’t think that she could grin any wider.

“Yes, you will.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and that's all for this one!!! sorry it got a little cheesy and sappy but i hope u guys enjoyed this story!! so out of character for me to write something that didn't end in tragedy..... i also have a maknae line au on my twit @vgaeus so check that out if ur interested! 
> 
> anyway i love to hear ur thoughts so please leave some comments and thanks for reading!
> 
> https://curiouscat.me/vgaeus


End file.
